Words to Grow On

Archive Devotions

February 28, 2005

Comfort in Mourning

by:

Jody Kramer

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4

It was a Saturday, in mid-November, like any other of many previous years. We were already involved with the busyness that comes with The Salvation Army Christmas effort. It was about 10 a.m. and my husband had already left to set up Christmas kettle stands around our town.

I was at home with our two little girls and we had just finished breakfast. The girls were upstairs playing and I was headed into the kitchen to do dishes and clean up when the telephone rang. I can still remember the words and emotions as if it were yesterday. I answered the phone and heard my Mom's choked up voice barely able to speak on the other end of the line. "Jody, I have some bad news."

Already my throat was choked up and tears began to fill my eyes. I expected to hear bad news about my Grandma Gaines. After all, she's in her late 80's and hasn't been in very good health. I was not at all prepared for the words that followed. "It's your Dad. He died last night. He's gone." Those words cut through my heart like a knife. I dropped to my knees, sobbing and screaming."No, not my Dad. It can't be. I just talked to him last night."

The pain, the disbelief and shock engulfed me as I tried to take in the words that had just changed my world. My head was pounding and pulsing with the pain, the questions and the grief that had come into my life. For the next few days and weeks my mind was constantly full and wrestling with the questions, "Why my Dad?" "Why now?" and "Did he make it right with Jesus before he died?"

I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. My world had been shaken and my peace had been robbed. I prayed for peace and sleep, but neither came to me. I just kept reliving that awful conversation over and over again. I couldn't get the funeral out of my mind. I wondered where God was and why He was denying me the peace and sleep that I so desperately needed.

Then one night while praying God changed my focus to the blessing that He had given me in this difficult situation. He had given me the opportunity to talk with my Dad the night before he died. He had given me the blessing of a wonderful conversation and hearing the words, "I love you, kid" from my Dad less than 24 hours before he died. I realized that I was able to look back at my relationship with my Dad without regrets.

God helped me see the blessings of that conversation with my Dad, my memories of my relationship with him and find comfort in that. He blessed me by giving me comfort, restoring my peace and giving me rest. The blessing for those who mourn is not in the mourning, but in being comforted by our Abba Father!