Worship Programs

Theme:

"Kingdom Power"

Sunday After Christmas -

Drama

THE REFUND

By Rebecca Phillips

Sunday after Christmas / Christmas Giving

Light, bouncy Christmas music as lights come up on three women with full, large department store shopping bags, standing in a line at a table. All are dressed immaculately and WOMAN 1 and WOMAN 2 have quite a pretentious air. They are all returning gifts from Christmas – and WOMAN 1 and WOMAN 2 are very impatient with the process. WOMAN 3 is quiet and unobtrusive.

Behind the table stands a humbly dressed WORKER, obviously tired. She is always soft-spoken and gentle. Taking the first woman’s bag, she empties it, looks at the tags of each item, writing it down:

WORKER

Was there anything wrong with this, ma’am?

WOMAN 1

No –

WORKER
And this?

WOMAN 1

No –

WORKER

And this?

WOMAN 1
Ma’am – nothing is wrong with any of it. I just don’t want it – and I want the money for it.

WORKER
I’m sorry. I can’t give you the money for it – but I’ll be happy to give you a store credit.

WOMAN 1
I don’t want a store credit – I want the money –

WORKER
Absolutely. Do you have the receipt?

WOMAN 1

Of course not. They were gifts.

WORKER
Then I can’t give you the money.

WOMAN 1

Then get the manager. 

The WORKER exits quickly. WOMAN 1 to WOMAN 2:

WOMAN 1

Can you believe this?

WOMAN 2

You can’t get good help these days.

WOMAN 1

I got here early so I wouldn’t miss the sales – and now this. If I’m lucky – she’ll wander back in here within the next 15 minutes with the manager.

WOMAN 2

You should file a complaint. She was quite rude to you.

WOMAN 1

I’d like to get her fired.

WOMAN 2

And did you see the way she was dressed? Certainly not representative of this store.

WOMAN 1

There just aren’t any standards left these days.

WOMAN 2

Christmas can be such a chore.

WOMAN 1

I agree. First, the whole present buying fiasco. THEN the whole getting the gifts that you wouldn’t even buy for your worst enemy –

WOMAN 2

I know! Look at this –

WOMAN 2 pulls out an attractive article of clothing.

WOMAN 2

Isn’t this the most ghastly thing you’ve ever seen? My son-in-law bought this for me –

WOMAN 1

That went out of style last month – I’d never wear it.

WOMAN 2

I simply refuse.

WOMAN 1

You deserve to get your money.

WOMAN 1 to WOMAN 3:

WOMAN 1

How about you? Did you get horrible gifts this year too?

WOMAN 3

(tentatively)

No – not really.

WOMAN 2

Oh come on. Everybody gets garbage gifts at Christmas. That’s why the day after Christmas, the whole world gets up at 4 AM to get to the mall before it opens to return everything.

WOMAN 1

It’s the American way.

WOMAN 3

I suppose there is some truth to that.

WOMAN 1

You must have heard that salesclerk being really rude to me.

WOMAN 3

No. I missed that part.

WOMAN 1

How could you miss it? She was literally screaming at me –

WOMAN 2

She even threatened her –

WOMAN 1

Assaulted me – 

WOMAN 3

(sarcastically)

Maybe you should call 911.

WOMAN 2

She’s right. Are you ok?

WOMAN 1

I am feeling a little faint – all the excitement, you know.

WOMAN 3

I don’t know how you are holding up –

WOMAN 1 begins fanning herself wildly, as though she were going to faint. She collapses in to WOMAN 2’s arms. WOMAN 2 panics. WOMAN 3 stands, amazed – and slightly bored.

WOMAN 2

Could we get some help in here? Somebody call 911!

The WORKER rushes back in with a wad of money in her hands.

WORKER

What happened?

WOMAN 2

What happened? YOU are what happened – you threatened this dear, sweet woman – and then you assaulted her! If – uh –(to WOMAN 1) what’s your name?

WOMAN 1

Nancy.

WOMAN 2

If my friend Nancy lives to tell about this day – you are going to prison!

WORKER

I did no such thing – I just went to get the manager –

WOMAN 1

And where is he? You knew that you had wounded me – that’s why you came back alone!

WOMAN 2

It’s a conspiracy!

WORKER

Actually, I couldn’t find the manager – so I thought I’d just give you the money for the gifts because our policy is that the customer is always right –

WOMAN 1 and WOMAN 2 suddenly stop their dramatic scene – and WOMAN 1 stands up straight, smoothes her hair, puts herself back together, and taking the money, smiling sweetly:

WOMAN 1

Thank you dear. Customer service here has always been top-notch. And might I add that’s a lovely shirt you’re wearing . . .

WOMAN 1 exits.

WOMAN 2

What about me?

WORKER takes her bag, looks at each tag, and then WORKER pulls out her own purse, takes her wallet, and begins counting out money, dumping out change and giving her every cent.

WOMAN 2

What are you doing?

WORKER

Giving you a refund.

WOMAN 2
But that’s your purse –

WORKER

(handing WOMAN 2 money)

Here you go –

WOMAN 2 counts the money.

WOMAN 2

I’m a dollar fifty short here –

WORKER

But that’s all I have –

WOMAN 3, obviously annoyed now, pulls out two dollars from her own purse, hands it to WOMAN 1, frustrated.

WOMAN 3

Here. Take it. Go.

WOMAN 2 exits happily, shouting as she leaves:

WOMAN 2

Nancy! Wait! Let’s hit the sales!

WOMAN 3 and WORKER are left standing alone.

WOMAN 3

You ok?

WORKER

I can’t give you any money for your gift returns.

WOMAN 3

You know, after watching all of this, I couldn’t take money if it were forced upon me. This bag is full of gifts that were given to me out of careful thought and love from others. Maybe something doesn’t fit just right. Maybe it’s not the right color. Maybe I just don’t like it – but taking it back suddenly feels like I’m robbing the meaning of the gift.

WOMAN 3 opens her purse and writes a check. Hands it to the WORKER.

WOMAN 3

This is for you.

WOMAN 3 takes her bag and begins her exit.

WORKER
What’s this?

WOMAN 3

The amount of my refund –

WORKER
I don’t understand.

WOMAN 3

I finally understand. Merry Christmas.

Lights.