Tips on Raising Children

Helping teen girls deal with body image issues

By

Georgia Beaverson

You may have noticed a radical change in American culture’s take on the female body in recent years. WE have gone from yesterday’s Barbi doll figure (which roughly translates to the dimensions 38-14-36) to today’s “lollipop girls”.  With their impossibly big heads supported by stick-like size 0 (!) bodies, the lollipop girls reign as today’s nbeauty ideal.  And given that the average American woman is a size 14 is it any wonder that our budding women have body-image issues?

              The prevalence of such cultural icons ius just one of the “whys” behind the problem, according to Cindy Richgels, a youth therapist with Lutheran Social Services.  Body image distortion happens for many different reasons. Among them are family problems like abuse or neglect, a stressful life event such as losing a loved one, or even the everyday attitudes of family and friends.

              “It’s a complicated process,” she says, noting that this process can sometimes lead to eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia. “Obsessing on body image (concerns) can take the focus off of the real problem.”

              Wendi Ehrman, a doctor at the Medical College of Wisconsin, works with girls who have eating disorders. She agrees that cultural pressure, along with rapidly changing bodies and an influx of hormones, can bring on body image problems for teen girls.  “Magazines and TV tell them this is what they should look like: thing and pretty,” she explains, adding that Mom’s own body image issues can pressure girls to conform to that lollipop ideal of womanhood.

              So how can you tell if your teen daughter has body image issues?  Richgels suggests parents ask themselves if their daughter is feeling good about her body.  Often, the answer to the question stares parents right in the face.

              Ehrman’s advice is succinct: “Talk to her.”

               But if your teen is uncommunicative or you honestly don’t know how she feels about her body, look out for these signs:

• a sudden restriction of food, especially meat and potatoes;
• weighing herself often.
• counting food calories and/or fat grams
• an excessive, sudden focus on exercise;
• unusual food habits or obsessions, such as secret eating, food hoarding, cooking for others but not eating; and
• an obsession with weight or body shape.

              Okay, you’ve examined your daughter’s speech and behavior, you’ve talked with her and discovered that she does have a negative view of her body.  What now?  How can you as a parent or concerned adult help?

              “Talk to her!”  Richgels echoes Ehrman’s blunt advice. She also urges parents to examine their own words and attitudes to see how they might unknowingly impact their daughter’s take on her body.  Do negative comments about women based on how they’re dressed or shaped pepper your conversation? Do you “grade” women on their beauty or prettiness?  If so, tell your daughter how much you regret your attitudes---and then change them.

              “Send a message that looks aren’t the most important thing,” Richgels explains. “Comment on accomplishment, intelligence, kindness and talents. Spend time with your daughter and do thing she enjoys and wants to challenge herself with.”

              Since Ehrman works with a lot of girls who are overweight, she suggests parents stress the importance of a healthy overall lifestyle.  Talk about what makes a healthy body, what constitutes nutritious food and the importance of regular exercise.  By emphasizing such positives, she believes parents will “help them not to focus on the weight.”

              Many of her central-city patients come from homes with no on-going father in the household, so Ehrman stresses the value of a dad’s input into his daughter’s image of herself.

              “Positive reinforcement from Dad is important,” she declares.  “I think father involvement is important for self-esteem.”

              Both Rechgels and Ehrman emphasize one last time how influential the simple act of talking to your daughter is.  Even though she might act like you don’t know what century she’s living in, she does listen---despite herself.   Ehrman suggests that you take every opportunity to pound home one simple, anti-lollipop truth.

              “Remind them that TV images are not the norm!”