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Women's Ministries Programs

What to Remember –What to Forget

Education—April 2006

Mary Duskin

Central Territory

Introduction

Our past is a part of us whether we like it or not. There are situations that we would like to forget, tragic things that haunt our memory. God can help us through these difficult times and to learn from them to become a better person.

Program Ideas

Speaker

Secure a Christian mental health professional to speak on forgiveness—what to remember and what to forget.

Group Discussion

Ahead of time, ask some of the women to be group leaders. It would be helpful

to have these women read material on forgiveness. The websites below have good information. Be sensitive. Some individuals can be hurt deeply by bringing up emotional events from their past; others have the ability to share how God helped them to overcome. Use the following questions as a starting point:

1. Should you always forgive someone who has hurt you?

2. Is there someone you are having trouble forgiving? (Instruct the women not to name this person.)

3. What tools can help you forgive?

4. Can you share a time when you faced a difficult situation? How did you cope? Has this helped you to be a better person?

As an alternative to using the questions, give each group a case study on forgiveness to discuss. The following website can be of help: www.explorefaith. org/forgive/index.html—stories of forgiveness.

Other helpful websites on forgiveness:

* www.gospelcom.net/guidance/forgiveness.

shtml—biblical guidance on forgiveness.

* www.forgivenessguide.org—“Bruderhof Forgiveness Guide, Learning to Forgive.”

* www.bible.com/answers/aforgive. html—what does the Bible say about forgiveness.

* www.spiritualityhealth.com—click on “forgiveness” then “self test.”

Devotions

Forgiveness

There is often conflict between what to remember and what to forget. I find that I tend to forget what I should remember and remember what I want to forget.

In the Old Testament, God told the Israelites to remember who He was; what He had done for them and where they came from. He told them to remember how He cared for their needs and why. Some of the problems they faced were because they didn’t remember. We need to look at what we remember and figure out what is good and what is detrimental. The key is usually how we remember. If we remember in bitterness, it hurts others and us. If we remember and learn from our mistakes, and the mistakes of others, then remembering is helpful.

In his letter Paul wrote to the Philippians, “One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13). Paul had a lot to forget. Before he met Christ he had persecuted the Christians. He could have let what happened in the past

affect the present but he chose to move on. He probably never really forgot what he had done. But instead of dwelling on it, he chose to concentrate on his present relationship with God.

We have various ways of remembering important times. We make scrapbooks, take photographs, keep diaries and make videos. We want to remember the good times, but should we forget the bad things that come our way? Paul also wrote, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28). God works in all things for our good. This doesn’t mean that everything that happens to us is good. But God is able to turn every circumstance around for our long–range good. Note that God is not working to make us happy but to fulfill His purpose.

John Newton’s conversion is often compared to the Apostle Paul’s. Newton knew he had sinned greatly, but he also knew the greatness of God’s redeeming grace. We can see this in his song “Amazing Grace.” Newton wrote the following words that appear on His tombstone, “John Newton, clerk, once an infide l and Libertine, a servant of slavers in Africa, was, by the rich mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, preserved, restored, pardoned, and appointed to preach the faith he had so long labored to destroy.” He remembered the past but didn’t let it paralyze him. He moved on and related to others that God forgives. When it was suggested that he retire at the age of eighty–two because of poor health and a failing memory, he responded, “My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things: that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Savior!”

In his later years, Newton was a renowned preacher. He said that grace and justice joined in Christ. Normally these two words don’t belong in the same sentence, but when our trust is in Christ’s righteousness, both are satisfied—justice smiles and asks no more. Many times when we have been wronged or hurt, there is bitterness and the desire for revenge. But God says we are to leave the vengeance to Him.

It is said that those who need it the most often best appreciate the gift of forgiveness. It is important to have a balance in what to remember and what to forget. This is a discipline that needs to be practiced in our daily lives. God blesses us with the ability to forget what we need to forget an remember His forgiveness and attributes.